Let give you some relief
and sing about somebody else for
a change.
And she's a woman.
Man, what a woman.
Always in the news.
Always happening.
And of course, now that it's
Winter Olympics time,
I can't help but...
No, not that.
God bless Tonya Harding.
Did anybody see
her on The Weakest Link?
Was that incredible?
With Kato Kaelin and Jennifer Flowers.
Oh my God, I died and went to heaven.
And recently,
just this week or last week
or a few days ago,
she's getting sued by her landlord
for back rent.
She's so happening, man.
She is en courant, man.
She is so happening.
A perennial.
You know, I got a day off to
morrow.
I think I'm going up to Portland
and I'm going to stalk Tanya.
You knew she
was in trouble
when you saw her bodyguard,
when you saw those two together.
You knew it wasn't hard to see
that she was different,
not just one of the girls.
With their gliding and their sliding
and their pirouettes and twirls
Then it turned out that
she smoked and drank
and posed practically nude
An d she didn't smile all of the time
She got angry and was crude
No, she wasn't good at two -skates
like all the other girls
With their grinning and their spinning
and their winning little twirls
And her childhood was unhappy,
and her mom was really weird.
Her husband liked to hit her,
but it was poverty she feared.
Cause she grew up in the trailer parks,
not like most other girls.
With their gliding and their sliding
and their whirling little twirls,
yeah.
Yes, they all look like princesses,
little Barbies to the core,
but she was your parents'
worst nightmare,
the slut who moved next door.
From the wrong side of the track,
she liked the boys more than the girls,
with their gliding and they're sliding
in their girlish dainty twirls
and it seemed like she was lying
about what she did n't know
and then she started crying
in the media sideshow
and in practice she kept falling down
more than the other girls
but they're gliding and they're sliding
in their picture -perfect twirls
and they almost towed her truck away
oh, the whole thing was a drag
forget about Campbell's soup
and Reebok,
Wheaties are the flag,
they'll be books she'll make some money,
that's what they're after all these girls
with their selling kiss and telling
and their twisting little twirls
So play the national anthem.
Stand up proud and tall.
Oh, we hope that ours don't stumble
and that theirs slip and fall.
And remember Olga Corbett.
What happens to these girls
with their triple flips and axles
and their somersaults and twirls?
Ice used to be a nice thing
when you laced up figure skates.
Now it's a thing to win a medal on
for the United States.
But once there were no lutses, axles,
pirouettes, or twirls.
Just kiddies slipping, sliding, laughing,
happy little girls.
Thank you. You You
Loudon Wainwright Iii 
