I've
been married and married,
and often I've sighed.
I'm never a bridesmaid,
I'm always the bride.
I never divorced them,
I hadn't the heart.
Yet re member these
sweet words,
Till death do us part.
I married many men, a ton of them,
Because I was untrue
to none of them,
Because I bumped
off every one of them,
To keep my love alive.
Sir Paul was frail,
he looked a wreck to me
At night he was a horse's neck to me
So I performed an appendectomy
To keep my love alive
Sir Thomas had insomnia
He couldn't sleep at night
I bought a little arsenic
He's sleeping now, all right
Sir Philip played the harp,
I cussed the thing
I crowned him with his harp
to bust the thing
And now he plays where harps
are just the thing
To keep my love alive
To keep my love alive
I thought Sir George had possibilities,
But his flirtations made me ill at ease,
And when I'm ill at ease, I kill at ease,
To keep my love alive.
Sir Charles came from a sanatorium,
And yelled for drinks in my emporium.
I mixed one drink, he's in memoriam
To keep my love alive
Sir Francis was a singing bird,
a nightingale
That's why I tossed him off my balcony
To see if he could fly
Sir Athelstain indulged in fratricide
He killed his dad and that was patricide
One night I stabbed him by
my matricide
To keep my love alive
To keep my love alive