She comes
in
about six o 'clock,
trippin' over toys and pickin' up socks
And you'd think her day had
been a ton of trouble
She's been doin' important things
with tradin' stamps and turnip greens
And have I noticed
how the price of soap has doubled?
She's as normal as she can be
and she never misses Jeopardy
And I think that she'd elope
with Dick Van Dyke
And when the kids have all been fed
and when I lay me down to bed
She gives me my time of
the night
Then she's a lover
She comes to my side
Right around midnight
After her day's been so confused
That's why I love her
And that's why I do right
An d if there's a reason
God gave me a feelin'
Baby, it's you
She hates tangerine,
she loves the rain
Volunteers me for everything
And the bank has never been right
She thinks my Uncle Bill's a sap
And she taught me words like overdraft
And the only number she remembers
is her shoe size
She had words with a guy next door
And almost started a neighborhood war
Cause he said something
smart to our son Bob
And therefore I had to invite him in,
Apologize and convince him
that she really didn't mean
He was a big fat slob
She's as normal as she can be,
She never misses Jeopardy
And I think that she'd elope
with Dick Van Dyke
But when the kids have all been fed,
And when I lay me down to bed
She gives me my time of the night
Then she's a lover
She comes to my side
Right around midnight
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