调：Ab major
Verse 1
Gm
G
The personal ad I placed in volume 2, number 15 of
Verse 2
G
If either of you had called me back,
C
G
C
I might not be writing this retraction of my ad
F
G
Even though I will soon be too busy to date much,
Verse 3
sisters
The under 18's and the over 60's
The numerous ones who dialed my number
and hung up as soon as I said "hello"
The 35 or 40 of you who
made dates with me and never showed up.
G
F
so powerful he couldn't control it anymore
The one who was so one- sided
C
F
G
ality was the reason I wouldn't sleep with him
F
C
Em
The many who couldn't get it up when I was agreeable and the many
The pleasant young foreigner who turned out to be
the private property of his gigantic girlfriend
The ones who were so grot
a relationship with them, especially sexual
The sharks, and the geeks,
and the sadists, the latter category which I had specifically stated I didn't want
And the ones who wanted endless dirty talk,
G
F
G
who said: "All the kids want my stuff"
F
G
The businessman who had an adjective for every letter of his last
The ones, and there were many,
The 300 pound lady
The transvestite who wanted me to support
him
F
G
negative results of their goddamn blood tests
short ones
The astronomer who cried like a baby and said he'd been betrayed
poets, the pumped up jocks and the used up kids
my white sweater
And I'd rather cut off my right thumb than go
back for it
Gm
F
The drunks, junkies, crack and coke- heads,
And especially the nice
ones who never called back!
Verse 4
To all of you I say: Just forget
my phone number
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