The Phone In

The Phone In 的简化版吉他和弦，作者为 Monty Python

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E A D G B E

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  • G

  • F

  • Am

  • G

  • F

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    • Verse 1
    G

    PHONE RINGS

    Welcome to the phone -in.


    Today we have on our panel

    our resident psychiatrist,

    a psychiatrist

    who isn't resident

    but is staying with the other one


    because he can't bear to go home,
    F

    and a psychiatrist
    G

    who has lived with the first one

    but who, when the second one arrived,

    felt alienated

    and since has undergone a total personality

    change.

    Our subject tonight is farming,

    and our first caller is

    from Reading.

    Hello? Hello,

    welcome to phone -in.

    What's your question to the panel?

    You're through now.

    Hello? Hello?

    Hello there, this is Phone In.

    What is your question?

    Vic there?

    Is Vic there?

    Is Vic there, Dr Rogers?

    Well, the problem here

    is a simple one.

    The caller wants to know if Vic

    is there.

    And in this case, Vic,

    as far as I can tell...

    Haven't you been here, Alan?

    Yes, of course.

    I agree with what Rogers was

    going to say.

    As far as we can tell,

    Vic isn't here.

    The only thing she can do is to keep calling,

    and if Vic comes in, we'll let her know.

    Does that answer your question?

    Hello? Hello? Vic? Yeah?

    Good evening, sir.

    Welcome to Phone In.

    What's your question?

    It's Norman.

    Hello, Norman.

    Norman, welcome to the show.

    What's your question on farming?


    Has he been round again?

    Has he been round

    again, Professor Rogers?
    Am

    Well, I... Oh,
    G

    no! Professor Debs?

    But he's been phoning me up!

    I think we've proved

    that Vic isn't here.

    Bloody kill him!

    And therefore, he couldn't have

    come round again.
    F

    It's a fairly simple case of non -presence.

    G

    Thank you, Norman.

    I hope that answers your

    question.

    I'll go round there and kill him.


    Is he down at pub?

    I'm sorry, Norman,

    only one question per caller.

    And now we move on to our next caller,

    please, on farming.

    Hello. My name is Mummy

    Badger.

    Get on with the question.

    Yes, I farm over 4 ,000 acres,

    and I'd like to know the panel's attitude

    to the viability of cereal production in

    the EEC.

    I'm sorry, we only want questions

    about farming.

    Next caller, please.

    Hello?

    Hello, it's Mr. Gannett

    from Dorchester,

    isn't it?

    Uh, no, he's dead.

    Oh, dear.

    Uh, but he left me his question in his will.

    Oh, dear.

    Well, how sad, but let's hear the question.

    Uh, uh, unfortunately,

    one of the conditions of the will

    is that I myself should not reveal

    the question.

    Oh, dear.

    Well, can someone else reveal it?

    Yes. He left provision...

    I'm sorry,

    we're running out of time.

    Yes, he left provision in the will

    that his wife should be able to reveal the question in

    certain circumstances.

    Is she there?

    Er, yes.

    Well, perhaps she could read the question on

    farming, please.

    Er, well, she's here,

    but she's not very well.


    Well, is she well enough

    to read the question?

    Er, no, I wouldn't think so.


    Well, is there anyone there

    who can read the

    late Mr. Gannett's question?
    G

    Only if the executors of the will

    were to agree on a revocation of the clause

    by applying for a co -decision.

    Well, I'm afraid we must leave

    that question there.

    It could be rushed through

    in about two months.

    Well, I'm afraid, I'm sorry,

    that's all we've got time for.

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