The Horrible Movie Song

The Horrible Movie Song 的简化版吉他和弦，作者为 The Four Postmen

N/A•
吉他
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E A D G B E

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  • D

  • G

  • Em

  • C

  • D

  • G

  • Em

  • C

    • Verse 1
    D
    G

    Oh, who's making these horrible movies

    that they show on the big movie screens?

    They chase and they crash and they dumb it
    D
    G

    all up and I sit and I watch the credits.
    Em
    C
    D

    I watch to see who played that part so badly.
    Em
    C
    D

    I wonder why I can't be a movie star too.
    Em

    I sometimes audition for
    C
    D

    a low -budget equity waiver.
    Em
    C

    I just want a chance to prove
    D

    that I can suck too.
    G

    Oh, who's making these horrible movies that

    they show on the big movie screens?

    They charge more and more but they give us
    D
    G

    less and I sit with my date and I suffer.
    Em
    C

    Why must I watch

    Battlefield
    D

    Earth?
    C
    D
    G
    C
    D
    G

    The script was written in crayon, the script was written in crayon,
    C
    G

    the script was written in crayon, the script was written in

    Hey there!

    Interior, movie studio,
    C
    G

    big important meeting with big important people.
    C

    We just optioned this original adaptation, totally in dependent,
    D
    G
    C

    big studio, high concept, low budget art house spec script.
    G

    Brand new, been in development

    for 25 years.

    Working title is

    Kill

    Me

    Now.

    I just read the first draft treatment and
    C
    G

    it's not very good but we can fix it in post.

    It's real

    Gen
    Em

    X and noisy with all that wacky
    D
    G

    surround sound and the

    THX

    Dolby.
    C

    And I must say I see several sequels
    D
    G

    an d at least one or two prequels.
    C

    The dope sheet on this baby got it to green
    G

    light, all the trades smell of bidding war.

    Jump cut to the festivals, okay?

    Two words, cha -ching!
    C
    D

    Our best boy wrote this script!
    G

    He's a 20 -year -old former key grip, and

    he used to work on the castings now,
    D
    G

    so he's got ancillary rights,
    C

    and he wants contingent compensation on the back end.
    G

    Wink!

    Picture this.

    Extreme close -up of some famous

    actor ad -libbing.

    We shoot a guerrilla,

    handheld, cinema verite.
    Em
    D
    G

    No protagonist, no antagonist,

    no character arcs,
    D

    no plot, no subplots, no
    G

    B -story, no denouement!

    Just avant -garde montages of a beautiful,

    emaciated, 16 -year -old supporting cast.

    We fire off a few squibs in the

    car chase scenes.

    Did somebody say

    McDonald's, okay?

    We split the merchandising

    with a fast food joint
    D

    and they pass off our crappy worthless
    G

    toys for 99 cents with each combo.
    D
    G

    Plus, we get to advertise for free on the soda
    C

    cups, which brings us to the love scene.
    G

    We hire a great pair of

    boobs for the body doubles,
    C
    G

    stand above on the bed, shoot at all

    POV and

    OTS and stop -motion steadicam.

    When we sell a foreign distribution,

    we can dump everything on a

    D1,
    C

    dub it in
    G

    German, make it

    Letterboxd and add subtitles

    and hock a
    C
    G

    DVD of the frickin' director's gun.

    The cast is willing to work for scale
    C
    G

    because we pitched it as an

    Oscar contender

    and most of them are stupid,
    D

    desperate has -beens anyway.
    G

    The director's willing to work for deferred compensation,
    D

    but I don't think we need a director on this one.
    G

    It pretty much directs itself.

    We'll just send a

    PA up to
    D
    G

    Canada to shoot the principal

    photography on a

    Sony
    D

    Digicam.
    G
    D
    G

    Oh, I've got an idea for a movie.
    C
    D
    G

    All it needs is a bankable cast.
    D

    It'll open up

    Labor

    Day weekend,
    G

    and we'll sit and cuckold on the glass.

    We can save money on sound, too.

    Make it a silent film,

    pretend we did it on purpose.

    Who cares?

    Let's go black and white.

    Shoot the fight

    scenes in claymation.

    It doesn't matter.

    We can do post -production in a slave

    labor camp on a video toaster in

    Taiwan.

    What the hell?

    Well, the
    C
    D
    G

    MPAA wants to give us an

    NC -17, which is the kiss of frickin'

    death.
    D

    They'll only give us the
    G

    R if we cut out some of the decapitations.
    C
    G

    I say we storyboard the trailer.

    Shoot it before we make the film.

    See how it plays in a test market.
    D
    G

    Make it kind of

    MTV.

    Think

    Dawson's
    D
    G

    Creek, real young and anamorphic.

    No old people.

    Slap the clapstick.
    D
    G

    Soft light the depth of field.

    Put some nose grease on the diopter.

    Sink it.
    D

    Rack focus.
    G

    Splice the iris.

    Hire a gaffer.

    Orange stick most of the

    MOS.

    Sprocket a blue filter.

    Tinker with the f -stop.

    Rotoscope the wet gates.
    C
    D

    Bootleg a word print.
    G

    And most important,
    C
    D
    G

    kiss the studio's ass and hope they like it.

    Go by the bull legs, load the mags, pan and scan, sweeten the daily,
    C

    sandbag the licensing, and get this baby in the can!
    G

    We'll get

    Elton

    John to barf out the soundtrack,
    C
    D
    G

    package everything prorated, and most important,

    KISS

    THE

    STUDIO'S

    ASS
    D

    AND

    PRAY

    THEY

    LIKE

    IT!

    If it sucks, we cut our throats,

    call it a life, and it goes direct to video.

    No big deal!
    G

    Aw, who's making these horrible movies that
    D
    G

    they show on the big movie screens?
    D
    G

    They chase and they crash and they dumb it
    D
    G

    all up, and I sit and I watch the critics.
    Em
    C
    D

    I watch this evil play that parts so badly.
    Em
    C
    D

    I wonder why it can't be a movie star too.
    Em

    I sometimes audition for
    C
    D

    a low -budget equity waiver
    Em
    C

    I just want a chance to prove
    D

    that I can suck too
    G

    Oh, who's making these horrible movies
    C
    D
    G

    That they show in the big movie screens?

    They should do us a favor

    and blow up their brains
    C
    D
    G

    In the back of their big limousines
    C
    D
    G

    In the back of their big limousines
    C
    D

    In the back of their big limousines
    G

    Come on!

    It's a wrap!

    We're not done.

    you

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