When
I look back to life I find
Lots of memories remain
Certain days stay in my mind
And keep runnin' through my
brain
I remember the day that
Ed Lee swam the channel
What a splash!
I remember the Wall Street crash
Oh, when Winslow first shouted, Flash!
But there's one day that I recall,
though it was years ago
All my life I will remember it,
I know I'll never forget
the day I read a book
It was contagious, seventy pages
There were pictures here and there,
so it wasn't hard to bear
The day I read a book
It's a shame I don't recall
the name of the book
It wasn't a history,
I know because it had no plot
It wasn't a mystery,
because nobody there got shot
The day I read a book,
I can't remember when
But one of these days I'm
gonna do it again
Ah, literature,
there's nothing like sitting home
nights at the fireplace
With a pipe, a dog,
and a good book at your feet
But if you walk into my house,
you'll see loads of books
And believe me,
they're not there just for appearance.
I press an awful lot of butterflies.
My literary appetite is stupendous.
They don't write them
quick enough for me.
The book of the month
didn't come out fast enough,
so I read the book of the week.
The book of the week
didn't come out fast enough,
so I read the book of the day.
The book of the hour.
The book of the minute.
But that wasn't even fast enough.
So far this week, I've read six books
that haven't been written yet.
But I'm not confined to
home reading.
I once spent two weeks in a library.
I would have been out of there sooner,
but I buried my nose in a book
and forgot which book I buried it in.
A dilemma.
Why, on the first page of this book
they printed the author's name,
and right underneath it was his
private phone number.
Copyright 1939.
But I'm going to send
it back.
I've been dialing that num
ber for four months,
and nobody's answered.
Nevertheless,
while perusing through the library,
I found the classic I was looking for.
It was in the Encyclopedia Britannia.
It was in Forever Umbreago.
It was a book that was
3 ,857 pages thick.
And I'm glad I took it.
It fits perfectly under the short leg
of my pool table.
It was in a his tory.
I know because it had no plot,
it was in a mystery.
Because nobody there got shot
the day I read a book.
I can't remember when,
But one of these days I'm going
to do it again.
Yes, one of these days
I'm going to do it again.