Hey, well all right sir, here we go there
and what're we gonna give for 'em?
I bid six hundred dollar down there
'n'now ten 'n'now twenty-five 'n'now thirty-five
'n'now there fifty now sixty
We're looking at sixty now
Seventy- five, seventy- five
another eighty-five dollars
Another buyer in there...
There was a boy in Arkansas
Who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him
that he should go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon
Take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
He'd stand and listen carefully
Then pretty soon he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said oh my it's do or die
I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer
Twenty-five dollar bid it now, thirty dollar thirty
Will you gimmie thirty, make it thirty
Bid 'em up on a thirty dollar,
will you gimmie thirty
Who'll bid a thirty dollar bid?
Thirty dollar bid it now, thirty-five
Will you gimmie thirty-five
To make it a thirty-five, to bid at a thirty-five,
Who woulda bid it at a thirty-five dollar bid?
As time went on he did his best and
all could see he didn't jest
He practiced calling bids
both night and day
His pappy'd find him behind the barn
just a- workin up an awful storm
As he tried to imitate the auctioneer
Then his pap said, "Son, we just can't stand
to have a mediocre man
Sellin' things at auction usin' our good name
I'll send you off to auction school
and then you'll be nobody's fool
You can take your place among the best"
Thirty-five dollar bid it now, a forty dollar forty
Will you gimmie forty make it forty
Bid em' up on a forty dollar,
will you gimmie forty
Who'll bid a forty dollar bid?
Forty dollar bid it now, forty-five
Will you gimmie forty- five
To make it a forty-five, to bid at a forty-five,
Who woulda bid it at a forty- five dol- lar bid?
So from that boy who went to school
there grew a man who played it cool
He came back home a full- fledged
auctioneer
And the people came from miles around
just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts
with such a happy cheer
His fame spread out from shore to shore
he had all he could do and more
Had to buy a plane to get around
Now he's the tops in all the land
so let's all give that man a hand
He's the best of all the auctioneers
Forty-five dollar bid it now, a fifty dollar fifty
Will you gimmie fifty make it fifty
Bid 'em up on a fifty dollar,
will you gimmie fifty
Who'll bid a fifty dollar bid?
Fifty dollar bid it now, fifty-five
Will you gimmie fifty- five
To make it a fifty- five, a bid a fifty-five
And sold that horse for the fifty dollar bill!
Hey, well, all right sir, open the gate
and let 'em out and walk 'em, boys!
Here we come, a- lot 29
and what're we gonna give for 'em?
I got 25 oughta get 35
and now the 50 make it 50
Bidder all at 50 now
60 will you give me 60 now
75 and now 85 and now
95 a hundred and now 25 and now 50
Send em up and a two
and a three and a four
and a five and a six
and a seven and a eight hundred dollar
and a buyer in back...
[Fade out]
Leroy Van Dyke 
