We are
told very loudly and often
to lift up our hearts.
We are told that good humour
will soften faced deadliest dogs.
So however bad our do
mestic troubles may be,
We just shake with amusement
and sing with glee
Hey ho! Mum's had those
pains again
Granny's in bed with her
varicose veins again
Everyone's gay because dear
Cousin Florry
Was run down on Saturday night by a lorry
The whole world light as a bubble
The family's thrilled
because Elsie's in trouble
When Albus fell down
all the steps of the town
All he got three bad cuts and a bruise
We're delighted to
be able to say
We're unable to pay up our debts
We're excited be cause
Percy's got strange
And we've run out of
fuel at the vet
Beaches! Ernie's got boils again
Everything's covered with ointments
and oils again
Now he's had seven,
so God's in his heaven
And that is the end of the
news!
We are told that it's dismal and dreary
To air our dismay
We are told to be gallant and cheery
And banish our care
So when fortune hands us
a cup of hemlocks to quaff
We just give a slight hiccup
and la, la, la
Hey ho, what a catastrophe
Grandfather's brain is
beginning to atrophy
Last Sunday night after
eating an apple
He made a rude noise in the
Methodist chapel
Now don't laugh! Poor Mrs Mason
Was washing some bowls
in the lavatory basin
When that old corroded gas
heater exploded
And blew us back into the news
We're in clover
Un cle George is in clink
For refusing to work for the war
Now it's over
Aunty Maud seems to think
here is more better place than before
Hey ho! Hi diddle diddle
Aunt Isabelle shingles
have met in the middle
She's buried in Devon,
so God's in his heaven
And that is the end of the
news