Friday evening rolls around,
I sit down in my TV chair,
my face assumes a TV stare,
goodbye world, goodbye family,
analyses of all the plays,
picking the winners for Saturday,
interviews with the stars,
interviews with the water boy,
interviews with the fullbacks'
On Saturday, it's do or die for
We'll defy the en emy to dim our stars
who have their eyes on brand new cars.
Thank God for scholarships.
Thank God for the School of Education.
Now, my poor wife has got it rough,
because Saturdays would be enough,
but Sundays a tale she knows too well,
a doubleheader in the NFL.
She says I don't listen to her.
Said she was going to Reno.
Sounded to me like a new formation.
Now, halftime shows of pretty girls,
in little short skirts and long blonde curls,
but who's got time for majorettes
when NBC has got the Jets?
And I just can't afford two sets.
you can spend them to death.
The terminology is giving me fits.
It's red dogs, cornerbacks,
zig out, down and out, collarbone, hip.
Hear the quarterback say, Tucker,
It's your turn to be on instant
Well, as I sat there sipping beer,
a shoe came whistling by my ear,
I really mean it went right
My wife was laughing hysterically.
I said, don't worry, honey.
I can have it fixed by next Saturday.
