So this guy walks into a bar,
this blonde is driving in her car
This Australian falls down a well,
there's a thousand jokes that I can tell
I step up to the microphone,
I stand before you on my own.
Well now ladies and gentlemen,
let's hear it for the comedian.
I flash a grin, I give a wink
I'm not as confident as you might think
I've a tendency to slur my words
When I've had a touch too much to drink
I come on looking like happi
Crackin' gags, rapid fire
If the truth be told, I'm terrified
Have you heard the one about the guy
Who tries to make them laugh
There are those who try a life of crime
Seemed like a good idea at the time
There are those who go into dentistry
Get their thrills from drilling teeth
I know a thing or two about misery
My line of work is comedy
Who tries to make them laugh
Oh, that will be the moment
Stop me if you've heard this one, baby
I face the silence of an empty room
I face the darkness once again
It's a shame that they all stayed away
Tonight I got it goin' good as gold
Tonight's the night that I will tell
The funniest story ever told
Have you heard the one about the guy
Who tries to make them laugh
Oh man, well we're no more
Stop me if you've heard this one before
have you heard this one before?
Stop me if you've heard this one before