Congregation, settle in your seats The rev
erent front aloud
is on the mic
I'm about to speak,
I'm about to freak you out
Make you shiver in the pew
While I'm delivering to you
My sermon and divinity ensue
Brought by the one true God,
it's a fact
Anybody else who ever had a God,
their God's whack
We ain't gotta worry bout him
We picked the right horse
You're in the right house of wor ship,
of course
And forces are gathering out in the world
To diminish our faith
in ways radical and thorough
To discourage us from loving
anything that's immaterial
To tempt our children with
ever fruitier cereal
And worst of all to call
us idiots while they do it
My congregation, listen,
I'm bout to walk you through it
We're gonna take the nation
back
from the heathens that's within it
We're gonna get the most egregious
of the atheists in prison
Cause a schism while we're at it,
but emerge on top
And once we've purified our ranks,
we won't stop
We'll purify your minds
of what's illegitimately thought
It's not to be a battle indis
criminately fought
But an orchestrated ef fort
and I'm gonna need you to commit
Might take a couple generations
for this devil tree to quit
Start with the kids, in fact,
they get distracted from the Lord
So I'd like you to write a couple letters
to your school board
Do you, do you really believe
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees?
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Did a lot of hopping
and that was the origin of the species?
Do you, do you really believe
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't I seem a little lucklier
than Adam and me?
You did a lot of hopping
and that was the origin of the species
And what has this so -called science
ever done for us?
But trumpeted that when ashes
go to ashes and dust to dust
Despite the fuss of living,
en ergy gets conserved
Denying the weight of the soul
of a man that's as ill -deserved
This is still the curse of Copernicus
that we suffer
Secu lar thought ought not
to overflow its buffer
And run roughshod
through the minds of you,
the population
Heretics such as Dawkin
s and Sagan
overstepped their station
To say that what we see
and what we believe
should be confluent
Look to your reverenda
and apostasy,
it's what I'm doing
Look to your holy book to light the way,
that is its purpose
Open it up and you'll find Eden
before you even scratch the surface
Sure, this should be mirrored
in the textbooks verbatim
But I'm not in a position
yet to issue ultimatum
So I lay down my scheme,
we'll make it seem as though creation
Isn't anything we'd like to
interject to education
We'll wrangle up the language,
science, data, theorem
The irreducible complexity
of the ears we use to hear them
Gnash ing teeth and wailing
from Kansas to PA
Yes, my flock, our talk of future's
not imminent but underway
Already established an institute
for discovery
Discovered that Darwin is dead
with outlook grim for recovery
School moms will soon say
that he burns in a fiery sea
Think how much like paradise
that's gonna be
Do you, you really believe?
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Did a lot of hopping
and that was the origin of the species?
Do you, do you really believe?
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Did a lot of hopping
and that was the origin of the species?
Do you, do you really believe?
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Did a lot of humping
and that was the origin of the species
Do you, do you really believe
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Thought it seemed a little lucklier
than that to me
Did a lot of humping
and that was the origin of the species