I'm just a simple modest chap
if you'll just agree with me.
And yet there's folk that scorn me,
then they ask the reason why.
Whenever I show my face they roar,
When first I came to London,
it was an office echt to see
the place we used to leave for me
So today, tonight, or any time,
If you join the happy family
It was me invented folk song,
and I've made it all the go
I'm counting all the folk clubs
until I set it on its feet,
And dragged it by the short hairs
down the length of Denmark Street.
I breathed on it and gave it life
it fae the music they cop -pop.
So today, tonight, or any time,
If you join the happy family
I met a laddy far in the north,
I kent that he had talent
So I walked up close behind him,
and I whispered in his lug
I knew the lad's a steamer's only wheel -train poodle,
And yet there's folks still say to me,
So today, tonight, or any time,
If you join the happy family
that pays me ten percent.
They say a wee bit talent
But my singers have no need o' it,
for they've got me instead
Their trust in me is boundless,
though there are still some who cry
Get back to Tin Pan Alley,
I can o' a boot show business,
I've been hanging around the fringes
for the last three years or so
So today, tonight, our only time,
If you join the happy family
Oh, little did my mother think
when first she cradled me
That I would be a big shot
in the folk song industry
My rise has been spectacular,
who say no agents need apply
In the programs that are seedy
or the budget's somewhat low
I can get a cut rate spot
If you join the happy family,
that pays me ten percent.
