got a cousin called Kevin
He's sure to go to heaven
Always spotless clean and neat
The smoothest you can get them
He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
My ma said they cost a packet
She won't even let me explain
That me and Kevin were just not the same
He's gotta a grade in economics
Maths - physics and bionics
He thinks that I'm a cabbage
'cause I hate university challenge
Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then
He always beat me at Subbuteo
'cause he flicked the kick
Got the Human League into advise her
Now he's making lots of noise
Playing along with the art school boys
Girls try to attract his attention
He will never be left on the shelf
'cause Kevin he's in love with himself