She climbs a tree and
scrapes an ear,
dresses, gothic hair.
She waltzes on her waiting mat
and whistles on the stair.
And underneath her wimple,
she has curlers in her hair.
I've even heard her singing
in the abbey.
She's always late for chapel,
but her penitence is real.
She's always late for everything,
except for every meal.
I hate to have to say it,
but I very firmly feel
Maria's not an answer to the RV
Would you like to say a word
on Maria? Maria?
Hey, Maria!
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud
and take it down?
How do you find a word
that means Maria?
How do you believe
Jupiter will always return?
Many a thing you know
you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought
to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say
How do you keep her away from the sun?
Oh, how do you solve a
problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moon
beam in your hand?
When I'm with her I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where
I am
Unpredictable as weather,
she's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling, she's a demon,
she's a lamb
She'll out -pester any pest,
drive a hornet from its nest
She can throw a whirling dervish
out of world
She is gentle, she is wild,
she's a riddle, she's a jar
She's a headache,
she's an angel, she's a girl
How to solve a problem like the real one
How to catch a cloud and pin it down
How do you find a word
that means Maria?
Her flippity shippity word
always goes on
Many a thing you know
you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her say
And listen to all you say
How do you keep her with us on the stand?
Oh, how do you solve a
problem like Maria?
How do you hold the moon
beam in your hand?