Now,
folks,
I got the smoking habit, see,
and I know the habit's bad,
but the worst thing about smoking
is it makes them nonsmoker
s so mad.
They say, if you're gonna puff them fangs,
go sit in the smoking section, please.
They put us in a wad
like a bunch of cows
with the hoof -and -mouth disease.
And all I hear is,
don't smoke cigarettes,
they're bad for you, dude.
Well, they may be friends,
but I love them every way but barbecued
And when I'm ready to quit smokin',
don't worry, it'll be a breeze
But right now, friend,
better stick me in the smokin' section,
please
Cause I'm a slave, I'm a slave
I'm a poor, helpless victim
to the things my body craves
Now, I know my smokin' habit's rotten
and I hate myself for ever startin'
But right now, friends,
I could eat a carton
cause I'm a slave
Now, folks, back home
there was this dude
that would gamble at the drop of your hat
You know the kind,
he has to raise all the time
and cover every bet
Well, one night he was
having him a runner look
and all his luck was bad
He done lost his money,
he lost his car,
he done lost everything he had
And I'm trying to drag him out
of that poker game
and he's hanging on to my arm
Yelling, I'm a ten,
help me get back in on
when the river bottom bar
Well, I loaned him ten, then twenty
Frenzy was picking me to the bone
And when I stopped the game,
all that remained was my cab fare home
I said, hey, if I was stuck with your luck,
believe I'd leave that poke alone
He said, sure,
you know it ain't nothing but dough
And money ain't got no home,
loan me ten
I'm a slave, he's a slave
I'm a slave, he's a slave
I'm a poor helpless victim
to the things my body craves
His body craves
But there is some good to come
out of this friend
There's always one bet you can win
You bet this cowboy I'll bet him again
Cause I'm a player
Well I ain't seen my next door neighbor
in a week or so I guess
Till yesterday and he was all
bandaged up in this podcast
I said well from the looks of you son
uh the wreck must have been bad
he said now this is what happens
Jerry when your old lady gets mad
he said it was last Saturday night
and I was in this bar
had a blonde on my knee
well I look up and there's my old lady
looking right down on me
well she grabbed that blonde
and there was a having a championship bout
I stood up and said now
honey wait a minute
and I never should open my mouth
because she come right across
my head with a bottle
Yellin' save that country job
And what you done to me
was World War III
And I'm lucky to be alive
I said well that could be a lesson son
Maybe this fling will be your last
He said hey man you know
what I'm gonna do
Soon as I get out of this cast
I'm a slave, he's a slave
I'm a slave, he's a slave
Don't put the pressure on me
It affects how I behave
How he behaves
I love them short fat skinny ones
I like them brunettes, I love them blondes
I can't help it, it's a lot of fun
I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a slave
He's a slave
I'm a poor helpless victim
to the things my body craves
His body craves
While I was laying in the floor half -killed
I asked myself, was it worth the thrill?
Will you do it again?
You know I will, ha -ha
Cause I'm a slave
Maybe
Uh, hello, Sugar Babe,
uh, you ain't got a cigarette
on you, have you?
Yeah, well,
I guess baritone's how the question ends.
Jerry Reed 
