As I was walking down the road
I met a gal so cute,
I sighted up to her right there,
she was such a beaut.
I asked that gal to marry me,
she slapped me on the cheek,
then she took off like a herd of turtles
a -pullin' for the creek.
She took off like a herded turd
of the bull in the father creek
Get out of here, you country jake,
you look just like a freak
Now I never can get me a gal,
I guess I am too meek
They all take off like a herded turd
of the bull in the father creek
Last year I tried to raise a crop,
thought I'd make me some dough
To buy crop prices up so high
and my pocketbook so low
Two crippled mules hitched to a plow,
old Tommy and old Zeke
But they took off like a herded turtle
pulling for the creek
They took off like a herded turtle
pulling for the creek
They plowed more ground
in fifteen minutes
than a tractor could in a week
I guess they're still a -runnin',
unless they got too weak,
Cause they took off like a herded turd,
a -pullin' for the creek
The other day I took my banjo
with me into town
I picked a tune on the corner of the square,
the big crowd gathered round
Then I tried to sell my rattlesnake oil
It'll cure anyone that's sick
But they took off like a herd of turtles
A -pullin' for the creek
They took off like a herd of turtles
A -pullin' for the creek
I stood there without a sail
And the tears run down my cheek
Now I can't seem to make a dime
And I'm gettin' awful weak
I think I'll join that herd of turtles
And go jump in the creek