调：E major•
Verse 1
D
These are the tales, the freaky tales...
Bm
The tales that I tell so well...
D
I met this girl, her name was Joan
C#
Bm
C#
She loved the way I rocked
D
Dm
the microphone
D
E
Bm
When I met Joan,
D
I took her home
Bm
She was just like a doggy
D
all on my bone
Bm
I met another girl,
D
C#
her name was Ann
Bm
D
All she wanted was
Dm
D
to freak with a man
Em
Bm
D
When I met Ann, I soaked her pans
C#
Bm
We ended up freakin'
D
by garbage can
Bm
D
C#
The next young freak I met was Red
Bm
I took her to the house
D
and she gave me head
Em
Bm
C#
D
She likes to freak was all she said
C#
Bm
We jumped in the sheets
D
and we broke my bed
Bm
D
There's another girl, her name is Mary
C#
Bm
C#
D
Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
Bm
I heard she was freakin' for
D
C#
my homeboy Jerry
Bm
D
Took her to the house and
I popped that cherry
Bm
D
Bm
D
C#
Young and tender, sweet Denise
Bm
C#
Bm
D
Get her in the bed and
Dm
D
the girl's a beast
E
Bm
C#
D
I tell you, homeboy, If
C#
you get a piece
Bm
D
Em
She only talks about signin' a lease
Bm
D
I met this tender, her name was Lori
Bm
And a X-rated movie movie
D
wouldn't tell her story
Bm
D
Em
She had a twin sister, her name was Lisa
D
Bm
And just like Lori,
D
she's a real dick pleaser
Bm
D
My girlfriend's name was Michelle,
C#
Bm
D
E
Bm
D
I freaked
C#
her well
Bm
D
Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell
Bm
D
I geed this girl, her name was Tammy
C#
Bm
D
I didn't want to do it cause
Em
the bitch was flammy
Bm
She had a best friend,
D
C#
her name was Jane
Bm
D
I pulled to the side and
I spitted that game
Bm
D
Bm
I met a lot of freaks in my lifespan
D
Freaked one night with a girl named Pam
Bm
D
The very next day I saw
her with her man
Bm
One week passed and I
D
was in her again
Bm
D
I had an old tender, her name was Janie
C#
Bm
She was thirty-two and and
D
I was only eighteen
Bm
D
She likes to freak, she's just a fiend
Bm
It really didn't matter when
D
I saw her in jeans
Bm
D
C#
I want to big freak, fat and slobby
Bm
D
I kick on back and I watch her mouth
E
Bm
D
Two tons of fun, big mama jama
C#
Bm
D
A country-girl from from Alabama
Bm
I met this girl,
D
Em
her name was Betty
Bm
D
Her pussy got wet and
it smelled like death
Bm
D
I was tired as hell, I was drippin' sweat
Em
Bm
But I was all up in her try
D
in' to hold my breath
Bm
D
Bake and shake us,
C#
Bm
D
I met this freak in Vegas
Bm
D
She said her name was Donna
Bm
D
She was a pretty little freak from China
Bm
D
I said I don't pimp or gigolo
Bm
I'm havin' so much money
D
that I don't need a hoe
Bm
D
You can break yourself but
you can't break me
E
Bm
D
You nev er met a player like $hort, baby
Bm
D
I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo
C#
Bm
Took Took her to my home
D
and we did it on the floor
Em
Bm
D
The girl got freaky and
I tell you more:
C#
Bm
She was down on her knees
D
beggin' to blow
E
Bm
She's like another
D
freak named Ren`
Bm
D
You get her alone and she'll
make your day
E
Bm
C#
D
Like Burger King, she knows the play
C#
Bm
D
But a freak like Ren`, you can
have it your way...
Bm
These are the tales,
D
Bm
D
Bm
the freaky
D
Dm
D
tales...
Bm
D
These are the tales that I tell so well...
Bm
D
C#
I met this girl, thick as hell
Bm
D
Only sixteen, said her name was Linell
Bm
D
I took her to my house, I could not wait
C#
Bm
Her shit was much tighter
D
than Central Safe
Bm
D
Let me tell you this since we talkin' young
C#
Bm
I met another girl,
D
said her name was Yvonne
Bm
D
Always talkin' about havin' fun
C#
Bm
Once again in the bed
D
I got it goin' on
Bm
D
I'm Sir Too $hort,couldn't be no punk
C#
Bm
D
I try to get funky like female funk
Bm
So when you see me comin'
D
or see me goin'
C#
Bm
I keep my money,
D
let the hoes keep throwin'
Bm
D
I once met a tender, she did it for free
Bm
D
On the Foothill bust number forty-three
Bm
All All the way on the back
D
she was workin' me
Bm
Had my big beatbox and
D
A
E
I was jammin' the beat
Bm
D
C#
I met this freak named aunt
Bm
Winell
D
Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet
vet
Bm
D
C#
Everythin' she had is what I get
Bm
Cause I'm Too $hort, baby,
D
I don't play that shit
Bm
D
I met another freak, her name was Rita
Bm
D
Baby thought that $hort just might eat her
Bm
D
I told her like this, she can suck my peter
Bm
C#
D
Or even go home cause I knew
I didn't need her
Bm
D
Scratched her name off
Dm
D
C#
my telephone book
Bm
D
Never again I took a second look
Bm
Cause the next young freak,
D
her name was Sharon
C#
Bm
D
She kept lookin', well,
Bm
D
I kept stairin'
Bm
D
Her booty was stuffed in the
jeans she was wearin'
E
Bm
D
She never left, she cutted out
C#
Bm
D
I know you all know what
I'm talkin' about
Bm
There's a freak named Shane,
D
such a sinner
Bm
D
She smokes that pipe and
D
she's gettin' thinner
C#
Bm
D
Shane is cool but her mind is gone
Bm
D
One fat rock and it's goin' on
Bm
She had another buddy,
D
D
came by my place
Bm
D
Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
D
Bm
She walked in the
D
door wearin' a lace
D
Bm
You shoulda seen that look
D
A
that was on my face
Bm
She's like this tender named
C#
Bm
Belinda
D
Homeboys call her Belinda the Blender
E
Bm
She gave head like she made it up
C#
Bm
D
She was twenty years old with
Em
a big round butt
E
D
D
Had a girl slick like olive oil
Bm
D
Her father was rich and the girl
was spoiled
Bm
D
When she got mad he blood would boil
C#
Bm
D
But I rapped her off like I'm lookin'
Bm
D
C#
Bm
D
a toy...
Bm
These are the tales,
D
D
C#
Bm
the freaky tales...
D
The tales that I tell so well...
Bm
D
C#
Bm
D
Shockedy life, Friday night,
Bm
D
C#
Bm
D
it's goin' on Too
$hort
Bm
D
Three weeks ago I met this freak
C#
Bm
She followed me around
D
like Mary's sheep
Bm
I hitted around the corner
D
and when she came
C#
Bm
I grabbed her by the arm
D
E
and I asked her name
Bm
D
She said it was Nina and
her man's in Santa Rita
C#
Bm
D
I took her to my home and
homeboy, I geed her
Bm
D
Set her on the way the very
C#
Bm
next way
D
Playboy $hort was ready to play
Bm
I bumped to this girl,
D
her name was Roseanne
E
Bm
We hitted the motel and
D
E
got it goin' on
Bm
D
Holiday Inn to the break of dawn
Bm
When I took baby home,
D
I freaked her mom
D
Bm
D
C#
I knew this tender named Shanie
Bm
I took her to the house
D
and let her freak on me
E
Bm
D
Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
C#
Bm
But I wouldn't raise my leg
D
E
to let her kiss my feet
Bm
D
I met this freak named Yolanda
C#
Bm
D
Rolled baby doll like
D
a brand new Honda
Bm
D
I was on top and she was up under
D
Bm
The bed hitted the wall
D
and it sounded like thunder
Bm
D
I once had a datewith girl
named Kitty
Bm
D
Bm
She was so fine with big fat tiddies
D
All night long she was actin' shitty
Bm
D
So I macked on baby like
E
Bm
I was Frank Nitti
D
D
There's another girl, her name is Rose
Bm
D
I use to roll baby like brand new Volvos
Bm
D
I never saw Rose wearin' clothes
D
Bm
She's a pimp house pet,
D
ready to pose
Bm
D
Bm
I was rid in' down the street
D
when I met Janet
Bm
D
Her booty was bigger than
the whole damn planet
Bm
D
Ass everywhere, I just can't stand it
C#
Bm
D
Tried to poem it but I could not manage
Bm
D
C#
I had this freak, her name was Bunny
Bm
D
Said I was the only man who ever
E
called her honey
Bm
D
Everythin' I did to her was funny
C#
Bm
I macked on bunny
D
and I took her money
Bm
D
Eight tonight a date with Shirley
Bm
D
She was really short and her hair was curly
Bm
D
If you saw baby you liked this girlie
C#
Bm
D
She was so fine I went to get
Bm
her early
D
Shirlie was freakin' like
a girl named Rachel
E
Bm
D
Her bite was vicious and
it sure was fatal
Bm
D
She liked to kiss all on my naval
Bm
D
Those are her lips on top of my label
Bm
I knew another freak,
D
C#
her name was Candy
Bm
D
Real big lips and they came in handy
Bm
D
I smooth got worked and
it was so dandy
Bm
D
I hooked the brood up with
my homeboy Randy
Bm
D
C#
He did me a favor in return
Bm
Gave me a lizard,
D
Dm
D
said her name was Laverne
Bm
D
Baby got tossed and I got it on
C#
Bm
I grabbed the mic and star
D
ted to sing my song
Bm
D
My young homeboy heard me rap
Bm
D
And said he had way more freaks than that
D
Bm
So I told him like this:
D
they might be freakin'
Bm
D
But, boy, you never had that
Outro 1
T-P-Treatment...
T-P-Treatment... T-P-Treatment...
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