Well the weekend is approaching
and I'm gonna have a ball
But I need to get some money
from the hole in the wall
My car went in, I read the screen
but then the outfit squints
It said, there's no withdrawal
you'd have to live with skates
Insufficient funds, they've got a cheek
I've got plenty of money left,
But then my phone went off,
it was Jean and she sobbed
She said, Bernard you've got nothing,
your identity's been robbed
They know me chip and me pin,
Prep me thirteen character passwords,
cos I've never been insured
Yes, I've just been the victim
Me savings have been plundered,
they taken me for all I'm worth
You know the date that I got married,
They used me cards for my laptop,
And they're flogging them,
Do they know the first school I went to?
To the funny looking fella
They know me chip and me pin
And the name of my first peppy
cos I've never been insured
Yes, I've just been the victim
Me finances are in turmoil,
Partners for a cross -cut shredder
Me debit and credit cards
Cos they've even got the three
-digit number on the back
Did they rifle through me bins
That's how they've done it,
What about these dodgy emails
asking for me bank details?
and won the Spanish lottery
They know me chip and me pin
And the name of my first pet me
Cos I've never been insured,
I've just been the victim of identity fraud
The woman chipping me pink
And the name of my first pet me
Cos I've never been insured,
I've just been the victim
