Yeah, look
I don't do drugs,
I'm addicted to the pain though
Yeah, I been on it for a while,
dunno how to put it down
Gotta have it, it's a habit I'ma break though
I just wanna take a hit,
keep sayin' I'ma quit
Keep sayin' I'ma leave, but I stay though
I just want a little fix,
I don't wanna take a risk
I don't like it when I drift from the safe zone
But lately, I been thinkin' I'ma have to
Lettin' go of things that I'm attached to
World don't stop
just because I'm in a bad mood
You don't know what love is
'til you holdin' onto somethin'
that you can't lose
I swear I'm tryna get it together
Sleeves up, puttin' work in, tryna be better
like to rap, but I ain't gon' do it forever
Forget the charts,
I've been focusing' on holdin' my head up
Moment I get up,
I just wanna know I'm doin' my best
And if I'm not, Lord forgive me,
you can have the regrets
'Cause I can feel the water
tryna go up over my head
Most of my life,
I always felt like I was holdin' my breath
Holdin' my chest, to be honest,
so I'm tired of it
Lookin' for somethin' in my life
to be inspired again
I like to walk around
and act like I don't know what it is
But I know what it is,
I just never wanna commit
I just want, I just want
(change) Yeah, I don't like new things
Got a lot of mood swings
Oh, you wanna tell me somethin' negative?
I don't wanna hear what you think
Yeah, tossin' in my sleep
Every night for like two weeks
Thinkin' 'bout how I could have done this
or done that better
Can't help it, that's just me
Yeah, Lies, that's me avoidin' the change
Yeah, that's probably why
the issues ain't goin' away
Yeah, that's probably why
I always sit around and complain
Tellin' myself that
I ain't never gettin' out of this place
Out of my face if you tellin' me
I need to be different
That's the issue though,
I'm always insecurity-driven
Takin' the wrong turns,
actin' like I know where I'm headed
Waitin' for somethin' bad to happen,
I can snap any minute
I need change
Yeah, that's kinda easy to say, right?
But difficult to do when I feel like I hate life
And everyone around me
kinda thinks I'm a great guy
But I don't ever think it
so I think I'm a fake liar
Change It's somethin' that I know I should do
I'm a little uncomfortable, to tell you the truth
But to be honest with you lately,
I got nothin' to lose
See, I've always been full of pain,
but now I'm makin' some room
I just want, I just want
I need a moment of silence
I don't like change, but I'll try it
I don't wanna hear what I should
or I shouldn't do
Why are they always defiant?
See, all my emotions are liars
All my emotions are violent
They don't want freedom to find me
Mention a name and everybody riots
(Change) that's why I'm checkin' my vitals
They keep on workin', but I know
Breathin' don't mean you're alive, so
I bag up all of my trash
and walk out on my tightrope
Positive thoughts are my rivals
I'm tryna be on their side though
Should I feel comfortable? I don't
Last year, I felt suicidal
This year, I might do somethin' different
like talkin' to God more
