Champagne in the kitchen not
because I bought it but because
I'm crashing an apartment
and somebody left it open
So I poured it in a cup, drank it up
I got the devil in my head but
angels swimming in my blood
Plus the conscience of my dead dad
Plus my living mama plus my other father
who raised me not to be sad
And my brother who says that he worries
about me from my songs
And my sister who's been living like a
saint for so damn long
Well I've been fucking sinning
til the lights come up
And the mics catch us saying shit
that we never really meant
Crew wears all black stuff but we all
act like we're so different
But everybody bleeds, right?
Everybody's waiting
for the phone to ring
Yeah everybody seems fine
But everybody's got
pieces missing
At minimum I'd like a little medicine to
make me feel like everything
Diminishing the venom that been
harshing all my mellows
I'm continuing to fight against
the sentiment that make me want to die
In a world full of uptight gentlemen
I wanna find a boy smelling like
sweet cinnamon
To quote some Tennyson
while we take Benadryl
To make my head a bit extra light
To make me feel nothing
Driving through the bay,
pray for understanding
I'll be silent for a day,
wait until I vanish
And I'm fighting for a break,
vacant kind of passion
Never really can account for all the
ways in which I've acted
Tried to call my daddy but
he's been gone a decade
So I'm drinking like an addict til I'm
fucking with a headache
Happiness sporadic so
I'm crying on a Wednesday
Not trying to be combative but I'm dealing
with some dead weight
Verbalize the hurt inside
make me wanna burn alive
My heart was never broken,