It's Cartoon Festival time
again, boys and girls,
with your old buddy, Captain Wackencracker.
And here comes Captain Wackencracker now.
Oh, boys and girls,
it's time for your old buddy once again,
Captain Wackencracker. Oh,
Captain Whacking Cracker,
Cracker, that's Whacking Cracker,
I mean.
All right, boys and girls,
let's have a Captain Whacking Cracker
salute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, boys and girls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
And let's watch our first
cartoon right now.
Turn it on, Engineer Stollo.
Well, look at that, boys and girls.
There's Jumbo the Elephant,
an old sly fox.
Look at that there.
Oh, Jumbo's really sleepin',
really soarin' word,
that lazy old dirty elephant there.
Hey, look at old sly fox.
Look what he's doing,
he's climbing on them now.
Ha ha, look at that,
old sly fox bit his eye out.
He he he, ain't that cute boys
and girls?
Ball them elephants eyes
come out real quick, don't they? Uh oh,
old Jumbo don't like that a bit.
Ha, look at that, he jumping up
and he just stomped that fox's head right in,
ha ha. Did you ever see a fox's head crack that quick boys and girls?
Well, I never did. Coughing
Excuse me, boys and girls.
Alright, you know what
it's time for now,
boys and girls, don't you? It's time for
getting mommy
away from that set.
Okay, get all our mommies
away from that set.
Come on, mommies,
get away from the set.
It's private time now for
Captain Whack and Cracker
and all his little friends now.
is mommy away from the set
that's right okay boys and girls now
let's get our Captain Whap 'n
Cracker cereal box out all right now
let's get down the bottom
there in our little stash
and let's get out a cigarette
and relax a little boys and girls
you know I don't like to complain to you
but your mommies
ain't buying them
that's right light that cigarette up
no that's the wrong end
and don't forget not to filter in, that's
right.
Oh, you know Captain Whack -N -Cracker
is not selling them
Whack -N -Cracker cereals
like the order.
Now, I just don't know
what your mommies are doing,
but if you love old boy Captain Whack -N -Cracker,
you sure make a buy them cereals for me,
if you don't want Captain Whack
-N -Cracker
to get off the air, that's right.
Now, you know that we're being rejected
by mommy all the time,
remember them rules
to really make them snap too.
Now, when we're walking across the street,
what do we do, hmm?
What do we do
when we walk across the street
and we see a big truck coming?
We just run out there,
make a chicken out, don't we?
That's right,
that's what we do, and girls.
Mommy is right back to the set now,
and that's her little secret time.
All right, boys and girls,
don't forget tomorrow
we're going to see the snake
eat up that chicken,
that we took them pictures in
the jungle.
It's always a good time here
on Captain Whack -N -Cracker Show.
So, till tomorrow.
Goodbye, and girls.
Goodbye,
Captain Whack -N -Cracker.
Tomorrow, boys and girls.
Lenny Bruce 
