Ever since I got divorced
Doing a little horse is fun in shorts
Relaxting, texting, sleeping
Refilling glasses of Riesling
What a great way to spend an evening
I look so good I'm beaming
It's about the ins and out
To kiss in the first minute or waiting
(That blog post got viewed the most)
Ever since I got a nose job
I've had a more appealing snoz
It's not so big and bulky
It's small and cute like Coqui
Those little 22- ounce bottles
I feel right at home after a swallow
My collars aren't stretched out
And more focused on my mouth
I haven't had to be at home
I don't just walk around the block
My rent's gotten a little cheaper
I started seeing my friend Peter
He had terrible allergies
It made him a loud breather
Ever since I stopped rapping
I've been totally relaxed
No more hiring a publicist
Or trying to find fat checks
Everything's going so well
