As I went home on a Monday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be
I called my wife and I said to her
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be
Well, you're drunk, you're drunk,
that my mother sent to me
I've travelled a hundred miles or more
As I went home on a Tuesday night,
as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat outside the door,
where my old coat should be
Well, I called my wife and I said to her,
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door,
where my old coat should be?
Well, you're drunk, you're drunk,
that my mother sent to me
But buttons on a blanket,
As I went home on a Wednesday night,
as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe upon the chair,
where my old pipe should be
What I called my wife, and I said to her,
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe upon the chair
Where my old pipe should be
Well, you're drunk, you're drunk,
That's a lovely tin whistle
That my mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled
But tobacco in a tin whistle
As I went home on a Thursday night,
as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw two boots under the bed
where my old boot should be.
But I called my wife and I said to her,
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns those boots under the bed
where my old boot should be?
Well, you're drunk, you're drunk,
They're two lovely geranium pots
Well, that's many a day I traveled,
But laces in geranium pots
Yes, I went home on a Friday night,
as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head inside the bed
where my old head should be
So I called the wife and I said to her,
will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head inside the bed
where my old head should be
Well, you're drunk, you're drunk,
But a baby boy with his whiskers
on sure I never saw before
But a baby boy with his whiskers
on sure I never saw before
